Slip 'n Slide and the Magic Carpet Rides

Just a few days ago, I realized I was insane.  It was the day before we were leaving to take the church youth group, and high school kids in our Christian school, to Okemo Mountain Resort, in Vermont, for a few days of Winter fun, fellowship, and nightly Bible time.  I'd been packing feverishly when I realized I still needed to grab the Hershey's cocoa so I could make my super amazingly delicious, somewhat famous, hot cocoa.  I became frustrated when I couldn't find it.  Ever since we moved to Jersey, and into what I call "The Wonder Condo," we seem to be short on space and things get lost in the makeshift pantry, which was intended to be a coat closet.  So now we just drape our coats over the furniture or on the dogs or something.  Soon I was taking everything out, and the floor was covered with canned goods and boxed pasta.  The missing cocoa was a baffling mystery... until I looked up, and saw it sitting in the very front of the 2nd shelf, where it had been the whole time.  Sure, I was happy to finally find it, but now I knew I was facing some serious mental slippage.  And I don't think that's the kind of thing that gets better with time. I took a moment to mourn the loss of my mind, and then I had some coffee.  My new coffee addiction was only a few days old.  30+ years of drinking coffee about twice a year had suddenly become 3 or 4 times a day.  Maybe that was the problem.


So the next day we all piled into a 15 passenger van and headed north.  Another couple from church, Dan and Sarah, drove a truck, and U-haul trailer full of skis and luggage. I'd always wanted to visit Vermont, but never imagined I actually would.  I was so excited!  As soon as we crossed the state line, I began to hum the opening music from that old show, "Newhart."  And then I started quoting, "Hi, I'm Larry, this is my brother Daryll, and that's my other brother, Daryll..." Here's a little clip I found:

The house we rented was the most freakish house I've ever visited.  It was perfect!  There were narrow, winding stairs hidden behind a door, and there were twisty, turny stairs built into the bricks above the fireplace.  I wondered if a trip up those stairs would be hot on the feet! The girls chose the basement level, the boys were given the top floor, and the adults had the middle floor, which we figured would create some kind of impassable barrier betwixt the two.  I'd brought enough food to feed an army!  And it's a good thing, because Ludlow, VT has only one grocery store, and it was closed for the week, for renovations.  Then I realized that Sarah and I had both brought our Keurigs and a massive supply of Green Mountain coffees.  Some of Sarah's hair is purple, and some of mine is still pink, so more and more I'm thinking we were separated at birth or something... except she's young and super thin, and I'm not either one of those things.

Here's the house.  It looks deceptively normal from the outside.

The next day, after the slopes closed for the day, at 4 pm, Steve and I headed down the mountain because I needed some garlic, which no one really seemed to think was a big deal, but what kind of spaghetti sauce has no garlic in it? This was the day we realized that all of Ludlow shuts down by mid-afternoon, even during peak ski season.  So with the town's only grocery store closed and no one else selling garlic, we were soon headed back, when I saw the Green Mountain Sugar House, which I'd been hoping to visit.  They were still open! I was all excited and Steve said we'd stop.  We went in, right at the edge of dark. 


So I was in the sugar house getting all worked up about maple syrup that's fresh from the tree, and learning about the different grades of syrup, and stressing over which grade was right for us.  The lady working there even let me taste some!  Now, I've never liked maple syrup in my life, which might make one wonder why on earth I was so stoked about visiting the sugar house.  Well, it's like this- if there was ever a time in my life, when I might like maple syrup, this was it.  This was the real deal.  And guess what?  I loved it. ♥ So we purchased a jug of syrup, cute maple leaf jars of syrup, and maple fudge. Then I started noticing lots of Green Mountain coffee in their gift shop.  And this was Green Mountain Sugar House.  And then I saw "Vermont Blend." And I was all "Wait... what??"  I didn't even know that Green Mountain coffee was made in the Green Mountains of Vermont.  It was like some strange, powerful coffee force had reached down to Jersey, hooked me with it's delicious caffeinated amazingness, and then pulled me to its frigid mountain home.  I thought it to be a rather bizarre coincidence.

When we came out of the sugar house, I noticed how slippery the steps were.  It had been rainy all day, but I still didn't realize we were now experiencing freezing rain. Then we climbed into the van and headed up the mountain.  Then we got stuck.  We just kept sliding up and down a hill.  Then we were sideways and I was sure we were gonna die.  Then we went back down and stopped at a gas station.  While we waited on our friend, Dan, to come get us, we decided to pick up some bottled waters.  And the whole ground was one solid sheet of ice, and I kept saying, "Steeeeeve!  I can't waaaalk on thiiiis," with a super whiny Southern drawl.  I watched as a brawny looking woman effortlessly walked right by me, carrying a large case of beer, which she hoisted into the back of her 4WD pickup truck. I don't know if her shoes had better traction, or if the locals are just better ice-walkers.  That's when I wished I'd asked for snow boots for Christmas.  I could feel everyone looking at me like I was a fish out of water.  At the register, the cashier informed us that their beer is cheaper than their water, but we said we'd just spring for the more expensive, water.


Soon we were headed back up the mountain, and got stuck again.  Dan attached the front of the van to the back of his Ford Ranger, with some kind of big rope thing, and pulled us up.  I can't believe a small truck can pull a 15 passenger van up an icy mountain, all by itself!  It was one of the scariest things I have ever experienced.  We were just swishing all over the road as we were towed.  And when he would stop, WE COULDN'T.  There was a lot of praying going on, and many stops along the way.  Dan got out one time, and he looked like he was on a moving sidewalk.  He never took a step, but slid from his door, all the way down to Steve's, without ever losing his footing.  I'm pretty sure that hour took years off my life.  I should have had my eyes closed the whole time, but terror forced them wide open.  I'm glad no kids were with us.  And I can't begin to tell you how many times in my life, I've been in a church van, and scared on an icy mountain!  We need a new plan!  But God was good to us, and we, and the vehicles made it back to the house safely.

 One night, we went ice skating, in an open rink, outside.  I felt so happy as I gracefully (ok, sort of) glided around the rink.  For me, skating around on that rough, ungroomed ice, with the wind in my face, felt so freeing. I was so elated, exept a few times when they played gross oldies music, which makes me die a little inside.  Then I skated over to Steve, who was leaning on the wall, on the outside, and he decided to kiss me. Then I said, "Hold on, Steve," and I snatched one glove off my hand, so I could wipe snot off my nose.  Then I said, "Ok, Steve..."  "Nice, Amy...," he replied.  He didn't have snot because he was just standing there.  If he'd been zipping around a rink in 20 degree weather, he would have had the snots too. 


Noah learned to ski.  I really never thought he'd like it.  On the first day, he laid in the snow and cried, then "walked down the mountain."  But on the second day, he got a lesson, and practiced using the "carpet."  The carpet is a lift that you stand on, and it takes you up a small hill, then you ski down.  It's pretty nifty-doodles, really. The kids were all calling it the "magic carpet ride thing." 

Noah

The nighttime shenanigans were no different from what we've seen in the past.  There was scaring, plastic wrap on toilet seats, creepy music sent down the stairs via a phone hidden inside a shoe, toilet paper strung in the wee morning hours, lipstick on mirrors, and spooky games of hide and seek in that creeptastic house.  And for those who know me... no, I seriously was not involved in any of it.  The kids complained about the tapping noises the house makes, which I'd noticed myself one morning, when I was all alone. It speeds up, then slows down, and finally stops. I dramatically suggested that the house was "semi-haunted," with the intention of planting fear in their hearts, but Steve reassured everyone that it was just a LEPRECHAUN running through the house in the night, and when the tapping slowed, it was just him slowing as he reached the last bedroom, and then staring closely at people while they slept...


On the last day, while everyone was finishing up their last hour or so of skiing, Steve and I snuck back into the town of Ludlow, to soak up some culture.  Upon arrival, we discovered a restaurant called "The Hatchery," with a singing baby chick on the sign, so naturally I had to go there.  Once inside, we had a view of the distant slopes, and a menu of yums to choose from.  The food was wonderful, but they didn't give free refills ($2.50 each!) "WHAT KIND OF PLACE DOES THAT?? WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE??," I asked, probably a little too loudly, as we laughed hysterically.  Then we found out they only accept cash payments, so Steve had to walk next door to the bank while I finished up my toasted turkey and apple sandwich, with chunky cranberry mayo, and Vermont cheddar cheese.  We left, shortly before they closed... at 2pm.  Walking down the slush-covered sidewalks was enjoyable, and the views of the ski slopes, which provided a breathtaking backdrop for the quaint town, could be seen from almost anywhere you stood.  A nearby river barely flowed, as it was largely frozen.  Feet of snow covered everything.  Overall, beautiful Ludlow made me feel as though I'd stepped back in time- to a better time maybe.

Here's the restaurant.  It's a singing bird!  Notice the wreath on the door.  There were still Christmas decorations everywhere in Ludlow!

My only complaint about our visit to Vermont, is that I didn't get to see a single stinkin' moose.  What a disappointment! But we had an amazing time and I can't wait to go back.  I hope we can take the youth group again next year, so I can make hundreds of grilled cheeses again, because apparently my grilled cheeses rock.  Praise God there were no serious injuries- just a couple of fractured wrists, which we learned about from this phone call from Noah:  "Hey Dad.  Guess what?  I rode the big lift and skied down the BIG hill!  It was great! ... Oh, and Zack's in the First Aid.."

I thought I'd share my recipe for hot cocoa, to keep everyone warm on these cold Winter days.  I wrote this recipe, but every member of my family on my Mom's side, has their own version of this.  Some use regular milk instead of evaporated, but I like the flavor of the evaporated.  You can use whichever you like, or a combination of both.  This has been my most requested recipe over the years, and I've never really given it out, because I didn't know the measurements.  So for all the people who've wanted it, I finally measured stuff, and here it is.

Super Amazingly Delicious,
 Almost Famous, Hot Cocoa... or Whatever.

1/4 cup cocoa powder

1 cup sugar

3 cans evaporated milk, plus one can of water

1/2 teaspoon vanilla flavoring

Desired toppings

Mix the cocoa powder and sugar in a large saucepan.  Add one can of milk.  Heat until sugar and cocoa are disolved and it starts to boil up.  Quickly add the remaining cans of milk, plus 1 can of water.  Once hot, remove from heat and add vanilla.  If it's still too sweet for your taste, just add a little milk or water. Pour into cups and top with whipped cream or marshmallows, or if you can't decide which, add both, like my son does.  At Christmastime I serve this with a candy cane.  Sometimes I shave chocolate over it too. 

And for those who like to see people fall, I leave you with this.  Watch Kary terrorize both the bunny slope, and the "magic carpet."  Her first victim:  Noah.  Then:  Everyone else.  Funniest starts around 1:40.  Videoed by one of the teens, Amanda.

Now I Can Have Memories!

Most people just GIVE their kids their gifts on Christmas morning, and for the most part, that's what we did.  But before we could reveal the BIG surprise, we decided they had to be tortured a little.

We were visiting family in NC, and on Christmas morning we carefully placed envelopes on the tree, with notes inside instructing the kids to perform various embarrassing tasks, before they could move on to a much needed clue. Each performance was given a "pass" or "fail" and they couldn't move on until each thing was passed.  Yeah, we're horribly awesome like that.

 These aren't extremely creative because we didn't think of this until Christmas Eve, but here's what they had to do:

1.  Run outside to a manhole cover, sit for a moment, and then return, all while shouting, "I'm a princess."

2.  Sing "I'm a Little Teapot," complete with motions.  You'd never know she actually can sing...

3.  Dance to M.C. Hammer's "Can't Touch This."  Just Because.  I'm so glad we did this because we had NO IDEA Noah had these crazy-good dance moves...

4.  Act out any scene from "Monsters Inc."

5.  Walk like Jack Sparrow.

6.  Wrap one of themselves.

7.  Hug their Dad and say, "Oh Daddy, we love and cherish you so!  Won't you please give us the last clue?

Then they were given the envelope with the clue, which read:

 "Riddle me this, riddle me that,
 Your gift is near a picture, where Dad wasn't fat."

(I didn't write that clue.)  So they ran thru the house, screaming, and we heard comments like, "NO... DAD WAS FAT IN THAT ONE." Soon they came running in with the box.  It's become a Christmas morning tradition that Elizabeth addresses Noah as "you idiot" at some point during gift opening. We probably don't do enough to discourage it, but I've never been one to stand in the way of tradition.  Listen carefully and you will hear,"That's what those are, you idiot!" Steve says that is why this clip will never show up in a Disney commercial, but even so, it's priceless. 

The beautiful hats were made by 2 a T Tot Shoppe

 

After the hardest year in the world for our family, this is how we were gonna end it, and begin a new one.

So a few days later, we were in Epcot.  We had dinner reservations at this lovely restaurant, and tickets to the Candlelight Processional after dinner.

And all night, Steve could NOT stop singing, "We're 3 caballeros, 3 gay caballeros, they say we are birds of a feather!"♫ ...because of this boat ride attraction, also at the Mexico Pavillion.  I could sense the stares of others..

And then, we were blown away by the best choir and orchestra I've ever heard.  And the Christmas story was signed, from the Bible, by deaf celebrity Marlee Matlin.  A man interpreted.  It's hard to see her in the following pic, but she's the one wearing red. And I don't really give a flying fig about celebrities and all, but we found out that just 2 weeks earlier they had Trace Adkins in for this, so then I was all devastated that we could have heard his big, deep voice reading, "And it came to pass..."  I wonder if he sang too!





So the day was good, until the fireworks began and Noah had a nuclear meltdown and we had to run out of he park.  They really were the most intense fireworks I've ever seen, AND they set the lake on fire, which you can feel.  We ALL thought it was a little scary at times.  When we got back to the room, the kids and I had several surprises waiting for us, including this:

Chocolate dipped rice krispie treat mouse ears on sticks.  We would later buy more to take home.



AND THEN THE NEXT DAY WAS NEW YEAR'S EVE. 

Ok, Disney World should warn you when you make your reservation with them for New Year's.  Something like, "Just so you know, on New Year's Eve we morph from the 'Happiest Place on Earth' into 'The Unhappiest Nightmare you'll ever experience as long as you shall live."  The Magic Kingdom loses all of it's magic that day, and it's a big free-for-all and a fight to survive.  We had dinner inside the castle which was completely lovely, but then we came out and flowed into the masses.  It was pretty cool for awhile because Disney gave everyone free New Year's hats and noisemakers that I LOVED.  It was loud and exciting. And then Disney World thought it would be a good idea to continue with the usual Electric Lights parade and it took us an hour to find a spot on the street where we could stand without some Disney employee-Nazi person yelling at us for standing somewhere we weren't allowed to stand.  And then the parade was as beautiful as ever.

And minutes later, it was over and the pushing and shoving began.  And tragically, I lost my noise maker in all that commotion. We decided to leave.  And about an hour later, we finally had an opportunity to escape as the glob of people we were stuck in, migrated near an escape route.  Then we saw this cute lizard:

Soon we were back at the Contemporary resort, along with a lot of other smart people, and we watched the fireworks and rang in the New Year from an observation deck.  There were even speakers piping in the sound from the Magic Kingdom, which was good because it helped me to not miss my lost noisemaker so much. Disney has fireworks that explode into the shape of numbers during the countdown!  There's nothing Disney can't do... except close the parks before they are too full.  Anyway, all of the exploding numbers were backwards, so that's what happens when you chicken out, and watch from the resort.  The people who risked their lives in the park saw the numbers correctly.  Being seconds from our room was totally worth watching backwards fireworks though.  They said it was gonna take 3 hours to get everyone out of the park that night.

Here are a few more highlights:

This was a hard day for Elizabeth, partly because we had to take a boat to get there and she gets nervous because she's afraid of sharks that eat through boats to get people. The Whispering Canyon Cafe, located at the Wilderness Lodge, serves more than just this yummy skillet breakfast. They also dish out a little comedy and harrassment with your meal.  Both days we ate there, Elizabeth was the main target.  When she refused to join in the little kids' stick pony rides, she had to hide from the waiter by climbing under the table, where she ate her biscuit, alone.  I would've probably just ridden the stupid stick pony, but whatever. They also made her get up in front of the restaurant and help them lead, "If You're Happy and You Know It." Twice we asked for more syrup, and then they brought us a one gallon jug of it because we'd become so annoying.  They gave Elizabeth a 2 ounce coke. And the main thing you NEVER EVER want to do there, is ask for ketchup, so we just did without.  Look at those Mickey Mouse waffles.  Best. Waffles. Ever. 

Don't let this cute Tigger fool you.  He's evil.

The coolest thing at Disney- Jedi Training Academy.  Noah got to battle Darth Vader!

Wild bird I harrassed.  He was running by this point, so it's a little blurry but you can still see what a grumpy snob this fowl was.

Our favorite ride in all of Disney World!  We rode it 153 times!  Well, probably 8 times.  I love dinosaur violence!



Ohanas at the Polynesian Resort. There are no words for this place. They cook meats over that fire pit, on skewers. Then they bring you as much steak, chicken, pork, and shrimp as you can cram into your body.

Bread pudding topped with ice cream and a bananas foster sauce.  I was shocked to discover that it's the best dessert in the whole world.




For a moment, Elizabeth and I were sad that our family doesn't drink alcohol (ok, not really) because this drink GLOWED.  But I'm sure they could have lit up a Sprite or something...



Bad moods flared when I forced everyone to ride the teacups, because apparently they're really lame.  Not to mention, our family didn't really fit in one cup and there were disagreements about how much spinning should be allowed.  Noah and I are spinners.  Steve and Elizabeth are not.



This was a snail named "Jeff."  Elizabeth carried him around one day.  We really don't know if the shell was actually occupied, but still, he entertained us for hours.

"It's a Small World" is such a beatiful ride.  Steve slept during the whole thing.  Also, I'd forgotten about Elizabeth's fear of puppets when we did this, so she's been telling everyone how it's the scariest ride at Disney...

I can't figure out how she convinced him to join in on the hula lessons.  She only wanted to do it for the free leis.

She's once, twice, three times a lady.

So after years of Noah sadly telling us he had no Disney memories, he now has 5 fun-filled (and terror-filled) days of memories to last a lifetime.  And despite my being afraid on New Year's, and hit with a door, and an ice cart, by reckless Disney employees, it's hard to not be impressed by Disney World.  Do you know, not once was any restroom stall out of those toilet seat protector tissues?  Thousands of people were hitting those restrooms.  Isn't that amazing?